Dear Vanity Fair firstname.lastname@example.org,
I am sorry if the words or letters in this note to you are a bit jumbled, I am trying to type this missive on a sticky keyboard - a keyboard that is sticky only after I spewed the contents of my nonfat, vanilla latte.
I am not in the habit of spewing, but it was a Pavlovian reaction of which I could not help, for it was inspired by one of the articles in your February issue.
Upon reading said piece, it's apparent your writers and editorial staff are in the habit of spewing, and that is an utter shame.
A. A. Gill's Roll Over, Charles Darwin! rag is a complete disrespect to the art and ethics of journalism, if for no other reason than the writer's first sentence.
"It’s not in the nature of stoic Cincinnatians to boast, which is fortunate, really, for they have meager pickings to boast about."